Data Leak Investigation Leads to Disturbing Discoveries

-CARPENTER PARTY BUNKER B (aka “Rubber Baby Party Bunker”)

Hey, is that you? Let me get my glasses on.. oh, it IS you! Hi! I hope you’re ready to read. You look ready 🙂

Let’s get right to it, because this is a whole stupid thing:

We’ve got a special guest today! Our friend Moe_Ron is going to read some new developments about the recent data leak/drizzle that revealed many shocking new artworks from Matt Carpenter’s main secure data center. The data drizzle appeared in Morse code on a Sizzler restroom wall. The code was decoded using a bunch of high-tech nonsense and was used to re-create Carpenter’s unreleased artwork  without his permission.

So here with the update is Moe_Ron.

Moe_Ron, what have you got for us today?


Moe: Hi!

Ron: Bahh, can we leave yet?

Moe: Cheer up, Ron! I’m always so excited when we get to contribute here. It’s really an honor. I was horrified when I read about the recent data breach, and I’m glad to see that is doing great and has handled it with total class. We’re here today to share a couple things about the investigation.

Ron: What a clusterfuck. Carpenter doesn’t know what he’s doing. This shouldn’t have happened to begin with. I know he’s sensitive about his artwork getting released early, so this premature artjackulation is a disaster.

This is our friend, Moe_Ron.
This is our friend, Moe_Ron.

Moe: Good one, Ron! High-five!

Ron: And then rushes to put out all the artwork on purpose “because it was out there anyway.” I mean, really, why would you just put it all out there in the spotlight? They should have suppressed it. Idiots and assholes and chumps!

Moe: Oh my, Ron.. You can’t really suppress things on the internet. That never goes well. I think they made the right move, and the art is great!

Ron: The art is CRAP, Moe! CRAP! There’s a reason he hadn’t released it yet. What a bunch of pseudo-conceptual eyesore CRAP! And of COURSE you can suppress things on the internet. Have you seen those images of your mom at the park dressed like a tiger eating cat food from an inflatable pool?

Moe: What? No! No way! What are you talking about, Ron?!

Ron: Exactly. You haven’t. That’s because I know how to suppress information on the internet. Those pictures are MINE and MINE only.

Moe: What?!

Ron: Annnnyyyyway, we have some information on the clusterfuck to share today, don’t we? What are we, news anchors now? Are they paying us yet?

Moe: It’s not a clusterfuck. It’s an unfortunate incident. And yes, we have some information about the investigation. I kind of like acting like a news anchor, Ron. This is super fun. We could pretend we don’t have pants on under the desk, hahaa! How naughty!

From the "Pixx" series, recently drizzled
From the “Pixx” series, recently drizzled

Ron: Now we’re gettin’ somewhere, Moe! Let’s fuck!

Moe: Calm down there, cowboy. I’ll start with the news. They gave us this script to read….

Ron: K, but we’re gunna fuck later, buster.

Moe:*ahem* New developments have expanded the scope of the investigation into the recent data drizzle of Matt Carpenter’s art beyond just Carpenter.

Ron: *ahem* That’s right, Moe. Reports from the FBI have surfaced that reveal similar data drizzles targeting multiple artists on a global scale. The FBI shared some information on the recently-discovered “BONE JAWZ,” an international group of anarchists who have been taking whatever measures they deem necessary to get artists’ unreleased artwork translated to Morse-code and scrawled onto public restrooms around the planet.

Moe: EEEEKK! Great job, Ron! You’re so good at this, oh my god this is gr-*ahem* That’s right. Matt Carpenter was not the only victim of this type of brutal attack. Up-and-coming artists (particularly those who often deal with triangles) from across the globe have been discovering this terrible truth: Their hard work is being displayed in Morse-code for free without their consent on restrooms everywhere.

Ron: Your child’s precious fingerpainting could be the next target.

Moe: Investigators have determined that one of the leaders of the BONE JAWZ may be Saucy Lee, the developer of the “I, Saucy Lee” triangle, who was very briefly discussed in a previous article in June of 2014 here on Saucy Lee has been in hiding for decades and was not known to be recently connected to any large groups until now.

Saucy Lee, with his famous mask

Ron: It was explained here on in the 2014 article that Saucy Lee is often the target of attempted assassinations by the Right Triangles, a dangerous cult-like group that insists “If you’re not Right, you’re Rong!” The FBI is looking into’s previous article mentioning Saucy Lee as a motive for the viscous data drizzle.

Moe: Saucy Lee has many enemies across the planet and has been mentioned by many triangle-enthusiasts in blogs, articles, tweets, and brief conversations with baristas. The FBI would not share any information linking him to BONE JAWZ but assured the public that he was involved. Any triangle-enthusiasts with unreleased artwork are encouraged to secure their data as best they can. Use lots of duct tape. Hopefully we’ll have more information to report in the future, but for now.. Beware: the BONE JAWZ are out there. Saucy Lee is watching. Stay classy, San Diego.

Ron: That’s the end of the script, oh thank GOD! That was sooooooooo stupid, Moe. If we don’t finally get paid for this, I’m not sure I’m going to participate anymore. Uhhgg this is embarrassing, honestly.

Moe: We did it!! Ronnie that was amazing you did such a great job we’re the best news team everrr!

Ron: Yeah well the REAL story here is that there’s no new art to present right now because it was all already stolen. There’s no reason for this post. People come here to look at art, Moe, DON’T YOU GET IT?!

Moe: Did you see this?


Ron: lol, no I didn’t! This is the best thing I’ve seen on here EVER. This is funny! You see? All that other stuff is all weird and conceptual and so full of itself. NOW we’re gettin’ somewhere, Moe! Let’s fuck!

Moe: OK. ::zzzzip::

Ron: Uhh, this is Moe_Ron signing off. C’mere, you little vixen!

Moe: Eeekk teehee!


OK thank you, Moe_Ron. A true delight, as always.

In other news:

Moe’s mom dancing in the park with her friends

Stay assy, friends.

Data Leak Exposes New Artwork From Matt Carpenter


A massive data leak (kind of a data drizzle) has revealed at least 20 new images from Matt Carpenter.

The first image to drizzle out looked roughly precisely like this:

Illegally-obtained artwork entitled TriFull
Illegally-obtained artwork entitled TriFull

Analysts have been unable to determine how this data leak occurred. We do know that the data appeared in Morse code on the wall in a Sizzler restroom and was eventually translated back to images using a bunch of high-tech computer bullshit.

The now-famous Sizzler restroom inside of which the data drizzle was discovered
The now-famous Sizzler restroom inside of which the data drizzle was discovered

Initial reactions to the new imagery have been mixed, like a frozen microwave meal halfway through the cooking process (replace film cover and cook for an additional 3 minutes).

The manager of the Sizzler was very proud of their bathroom, and really enjoyed the artwork that came out of it. “I’ve always known that our little restroom would grow up to do great things,” Blake Sizzle, Sizzler manager said. “This is an historic moment. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta take a shit.”

Wolf Blitzer was unavailable for Sizzler Drizzle comment.

Matt Carpenter was available for comment, but we didn’t want to bother him.

The artwork has now appeared in the “Newest Additions” section of the gallery. An “Experiments” subsection has been added to the New Additions as well, for more experimental works. The experiments don’t appear to be completed but they are interesting and share-worthy, so they’ve been uploaded.

"Twinz," a new creation
“Twinz,” a new creation


The Morse code on the bathroom wall was carefully inspected by experts, who discovered a couple of interesting things.

The sharpie that was used on the wall appears to be the same Sharpie that wrote “BONE JAWZ 2017” on a mirror at the coffee shop across the street. Nobody seems to know what “BONE JAWZ” means, including Joey Java, the manager of the coffee shop.

After further expert analysis, we learned that the handwriting of “BONE JAWZ 2017” matches the handwriting from a note written on the inside front cover of a copy of “The Hardy Boys: The Secret of the Caves” at the local library. Loanne Booker, the library’s manager, read the note to us from the Hardy Boys book: “We are all around you, but you’ll never find us! Stay away from the caves, though, because you definitely won’t find anything there.”

Investigators searched the caves and they definitely didn’t find anything there. They should have trusted the note. Always trust the note.

For now, the identity of dat data drizzler or drizzlers (The Sizzler Drizzlers?) remains unknown. If further information is discovered, you’ll either hear about it first here or on


We have developed a method for enjoying the artwork. Follow these instructions very closely for optimal results:

Newest Additions

Huh. Neat.
Huh. Neat.
  1. Click on the link above.
  2. Click on a thumbnail for one of the artworks that looks interesting.
  3. Look at the artwork.
  4. Think to yourself “huh. neat.”
  5. Smile.
  6. On the right side of the page, click the thumbnail of another artwork.
  7. Look at the artwork.
  8. Think to yourself “neat. huh.”
  9. You have successfully enjoyed artwork. Turn off your computer.

NOTICE: These instructions are not guaranteed to be correct on a mobile device. Be careful. Don’t drop your phone.


Future plans include:

Dancing into the future.
Dancing into the future.

Thank you for keeping yourself informed and for enjoying art. You’re pretty neat. Huh.