— CARPENTER ART DEVELOPMENT FACILITY 792D, FLOOR -61, QUADRANT 5, STUDIO 64, DESK 3
Below is a link to the “Newest Additions” in the mattcarpenterart.com gallery. Thank you for your attention and have a great da- hey, stop it, get off me!
A loud metallic squink is heard. mattcarpenterart.com’s “friend,” Moe_Ron are seen standing over the guy who was writing this post. Who’s writing THIS part, then? I don’t know, lady, quit asking so many questions!
Moe: Ron, go easy on him, he just works here!
Ron: He’s dead, Moe. I did what I had to do.
Moe: Geeze, Ron, you didn’t have to kill the poor guy. We just wanted to break in here and liven the place up a bit. Why is this place so dead? There were no posts in over 6 months and then the comeback post is just so dang BORING! What do you think happened?
Ron: I’ve been telling you this for a long time, Moe: This place sucks. It’s only a matter of time before it just kind of burns out, just like the artist. We broke in here to help, but I’m not sure that’s possible. Hand me that notepad on the desk.
Ron: Jeee-SSUSSS CHRIST, Moe! Where’s our backpack with the drugs? It’s time to get TANGLED and TRIP THE FUGGOUT!
Moe: Ron, you don’t need drugs to appreciate cool artwork. This is beautiful on its own. No reason to get tangled.
Ron: Man I keep forgetting this guy makes such cool shit! I wonder how he does it. Do you think he uses a paintbrush? This one’s probably ballpoint pen! Maybe it’s chalk?
Moe: I think it’s digital art, Ron.
Ron: Oh, like MS Paint? What a fucking NERD, am I right?!
Moe: Look at this one:
Ron: That makes me feel nice. Why do I keep forgetting that there’s such awesome artwork here?
Moe: Because you tend to be very negative about things in general. You’re the mean one. It’s kind of your thing. You act all pissed off and then eventually you come around.
Ron: I don’t have a “thing,” Moe.
Moe: What about that thing on your armpit? The green thing?
Ron: God dammit, Moe!
Moe: There’s so much art here!
Ron: Yeah it’s pretty rad, I won’t lie.
Moe: Do you usually lie, Ron? What are you hiding?
Ron: Moe, don’t start. Oh hey, look at this one!
Ron: OK so how do we spice this post up? That was our goal, remember?
Moe: I think we might have done that already. We’re probably good, Ron.
Ron: Fuck that, let’s spray paint all over the walls and break some windows and stuff! IT’S A RIOT, BITCH!!
Moe: Calm down, Ron. Our work here is done. There’s already a dead guy on the floor. I think that’s probably good enough.
Ron: Oh yeah. I killed somebody, lol. Let’s get outta here.
Moe_Ron leaves, apparently having committed murder and accomplished a goal of some sort. A mysterious pair of hands finishes the post, hinting at everybody to keep seeking out and enjoying art and to always start finishing.