Celebrations Erupt On Main Street As The Public Learns Of Plans For MattCarpenterArt.com

-MAIN STREET

Spontaneous celebration burst into the streets today, mostly on Main Street, as people discovered plans for the launch of www.mattcarpenterart.com.

Matt Carpenter, a digital artist, has been creating works since Henry VIII’s death in early 1547. Up until now, these works have resided on various servers that Carpenter had very little control over, so they were stable, clean, and easily navigated.

When people learned that these works would finally be available on a single place controlled by Carpenter himself (www.mattcarpenterart.com), tears of joy and exuberant shouts to the heavens exploded from people. This information is hard to verify, however, because everybody was shouting at the heavens at the same time so nobody was looking around to verify that anybody else was. Journalism is hard.

Conspiracy theorists are already proclaiming that this could be the end of life as we know it, or, even worse, the end of the internet as we know it. They’re probably right.

Only time will tell. We will be keeping a close eye on the Carpenter moonbase and earth-based compounds to bring you up-to-the-year reports.