- WORKSHOP 6 Hi! I'm posting to show you a thing: "Did you make this, Matt?" Hell yeah I did! This is a very very simple introduction to a new concept I'm working with. Why don't I tell you a story you don't need to know? Lean forward and get interested! It all started with this thing: I framed this one and when I put it on the wall, I tilted it 5 degrees so that the stripes, NOT the frame, were parallel to the ground/ceiling. I got really happy about this idea, and started wondering "Hey, MANNNN?! Why do we have to always hang our frames the same way?" I started working on different ways to represent this idea. Most of them have been far too complicated, confused, and overwhelming, but some really nice things are coming out of this notion, including the above. Anyway, I just wanted to show this off, because I'm very pleased. OK, any second now, I'll stop patting myself on the back.. I'll be showing many of these in the future at various venues, but first, I'll have a new Trip Grid at the Wiznu Labs Gallery on Saturday, February 7th! It's going to be a cool night :) Hey! I forgot to thank you for reading this. Thank you for reading this. Stay slimy, everybody!

- THE COUCH Who? Me! And around fifteen other artists (painters, photographers, and other various showoffs) who are all new to the Wiznu Labs Gallery! What? An art event at Wiznu Labs Gallery. There will be snacks and a cash bar (beer, wine, spirits), art, and a bunch of creative and interesting people standing, sitting, laying, posing, posturing, cowering, yelling, questioning, talking, crying, giggling, and much, much more!! Bring $5 to support this new venue. Here's the official Facebook Event Page. When? Saturday, February 7th, 2015, from 7:00PM to 3:00AM In case you're planning on visiting virtually from Japan, that'll be on Sunday, February 8th, 2015 from noon until 7:00PM Where? Wiznu Labs Gallery:   724 S. Spring St #703 in Los Angeles, Ca 90014 (Click for the map - it will open in a new tab, so don't panic) Why? Why not? What are you, some kinda smartass?! How? Well, you see, when a man and a woman love each other very very much, and have become very close, they uhh.. ask your mother. I will have a piece on display and will be present all evening, so come on by!! It'll be a good time! You never go OUT anymore, ya know? DO SOMETHING FUN! The view of downtown Los Angeles from the roof of this building is really worth the visit alone. In other news, I've added a couple works to the New Additions section. We've got Sway-Z, a 5x7 very high-res image, and Gwoove, a 16x20 monster that turned out to be way more difficult than expected. I can tell you're screaming "Only two new things!? What the hell?!" It's OK. There's a new concept that I've put a lot of work into and I'm afraid to show it until I can really own it and have several of them done. I'm still making things. Please don't be so angry. I'll see you at Wiznu Labs Gallery on Feb 7th, right? RIGHT?! OK cool :) Until then, it's now.

- CARPENTER RESIDENCE 1 Several works have been added to mattcarpenterart.com's "Newest Additions" gallery. Let's take a quick look at a few of them: If you're able to read captions, you'll know that the above is entitled "Dancefloor Action." Look! Squares, colors, and square holes of varying sizes! There are a couple others in the Dancefloor series, available at the Newest Additions gallery. What else we got? Ahh, yes. "This Is What Happens." At full size and full resolution, this thing is quite an entangled beauty. Hey, just since you're reading my news article, I'll give you a link to a large version of this. CLICK THIS NOW! Any others? Whoops. Crap! I wasn't ready to show this one yet. I'm still working on it. Pretend you didn't see this, eh? Thanks. OK ok one more.. "Unbalanced Diet 1." The idea with this series is to create highly unbalanced images. At some point I learned about balancing your visual art and how important it is to do this, so I figured, "Fuck that rule!" and put together the Unbalanced Diet series. Three more of those are in the Newest Additions gallery. Hmm, is there anything else to report? I'm sure I'll come up with something as soon as I click "Publish" but hey I did title this "quick" anyway, so I should shut up. Signing out and shutting up, this is mattcarpenterart.com reporting live from the couch. Back to you, Wolf.

- CARPENTER MARS OUTPOST 7R, PRINTING FACILITY C, LEVEL 12 HEAD OFFICE, COMFY OFFICE CHAIR The most basic polygon is the triangle. This fucker bridges the gap between angles and shapes. For those not in the know, a triangle is a three sided two-dimensional polygon. Triangles are kind of like squares, but they have one less side. They're kind of like an angle but the rays have a line connecting them, creating two more angles in the process so that three lines are now intersecting, warranting the name "TRI-ANGLE." God damn; you didn't already know this? Oh.. you did? OK Then. Good job. There are several types of triangles. There's the Equal Lottery triangle, for instance. This name has something to do with how random chance made all the sides the same length. There's also the I, Saucy Lee triangle, which I think was developed by Saucy Lee. Another one is the Super Cute triangle, which is just absolutely adorable! You should find one and play with it. PRICELESS! Additionally, there are triangles out there calling themselves Right triangles. I've heard they're some kind of cult. They regularly attempt to assassinate Saucy Lee and constantly put out videos and messages, warnings, and threats on the internet, sharing their main message of "If you're not Right, you're Rong!" So that's everything mankind knows about triangles so far, and I'm glad I could make this not only entertaining, but educational! By the way, I can't stop seeing the word "TANGLE" in the word TriANGLE now. Now that we're all up to speed, let's take a look at one of these things. This is what we in the industry call a triangle: Dammit! Let me try again. OK. Focus, Matt. Triangle. Three sides. Three angles. THREE sides! Here we go: YYYYYESSS! Nailed it! Anyway, what the hell are we doing here? It's probably time to get to the feature: I recently created this thing called the TripGrid. I was pretty pleased with how it turned out. Were you? Here it is: I really like what happens in the negative space (That's the space that goes "Hey, this isn't gunna work! Hey, your goals suck! Hey, I'm negative space and I'm here to tell you your hands are stupid and they're bad at doing stuff!") on the TripGrid, and I've continued to mess with this idea. Are you shocked to hear that I tried this same thing with triangles? Every one of those shapes was individually rotated and colored. I may be able to figure out how to automate this process but I think there's something charming (or sad? I get those two mixed up all the time) about the fact that I sit there and tend to each shape on a personal level instead of just pressing a button. *ahem* excuse me while I pat myself on the back. ** pat pat ** Man, I give the best back pattings. So, I placed a shitload of identical triangles on a plane and started rotating each one of them: I know, you've probably got a better method, but this is MINE! :) So then I colored them each individually as well: So. There it is. This is what happens when I'm left alone with a big red triangle. The full Try Angles is 30x30" and is now in my Featured section. I made a little comic version out of it, as well. Oh did you ever see the TripGrid comic? Look: Carl just doesn't get it, ya know? He attended EVERY meeting, and still had no idea what was going on... So uhh.. oh yeah! The triangle comic: There you have it. My featured work of the century. Check in next century for another exciting new Featured artwork! Thanks for taking a look and having a read. You're kind of awesome!

- CARPENTER MOONBASE 6, LEVEL 4, PRESS ROOM 2A We're going to have to make this quick because typing is still slightly painful. Blades. Those things have been fuckin' people up for over 2 million years. That's right. You had no clue. Gorillas and people like them have been making sharp tools for over 2 million years. Don't believe me? Well here's something I read on the internet that backs me up! Lots of people have gotten hurt by these things. Last Thursday evening, Matt Carpenter's left hand was cut in the sink while he was dealing with some dishes. An evil knife jumped out of the sink and bit him between the thumb and forefinger, creating a large knife-bite mark that required five stitches and a week of "ow!" These stitches are coming out today, but don't expect any fancy art for a while, because this fucking hurts. Dammit. Let's check in with our buddy Moe_Ron to see if he has anything to add. Moe_Ron? Moe: Oh my gosh, Matt, I'm so sorry that happened! I hope you heal quickly and are back up on your fingers lickity-spl- uhh... in a flash! Ron: Stop kissing his ass, Moe! Hey, Matt! You're a fucking idiot! What the hell are you doing with your life?! Damn, dude, be more careful. Holy shit. Moe: That's so mean, Ron. He's in pain right now and he's our friend. He needs our support. It's OK, Matt! You're going to be ok, buddy. Ron: He's no friend of mine, Moe. Dude hasn't done shit for me. And now he's walking around spraying blood everywhere? What an asshole! Moe: He's not spraying blood everywhere, Ron. That's ridiculous. He's got it patched up and cleans and cares for it daily. There's no blood spraying anywhere. Ron: I heard there was spraying Moe: No spray Ron: Spray! Moe: No Spray! -- OK Moe_Ron we're going to stop you right there. Thanks for your contribution, I guess. I'll be back into it soon, chumps. I mean champs. I mean chimps.